Sister Whiskers

(sigh).. it is inevitable; I am going to have to do something about my whiskers! At first it was just one or two, and every so often my daughter would say "Hold still - you've got a big one!" and yank a long hair out of my chin. But now it seems like I am plucking whiskers every day!! I even have a whisker plucking station set up for it! Please don't tell me I am the only one who knows you need actual sunlight in order to get all the little white devils out!! I have my magnifying mirror set up in a southern facing window, where I can zero in on them, much to the fascination of my elderly neighbor, who does not even pretend to be doing something else - he just stops what he is doing to watch.. and its not like I am naked or something interesting, he just likes to watch me pluck and wince, pluck and wince. I told my husband the other day that I was going to have to do something more permanent about it. "Look at this!" I shouted. "I am going to have to start shaving!" Paul was not impressed when he had to put on his reading glasses in order to see my 'beard', but I can feel them, they are stiff and wiry and I HATE THEM!! I have seen old ladies that look like members of ZZ Top and I DO NOT want to be one of them!! So I went to the store in search of facial hair removers, and what do you know, there is a whole isle devoted to the different methods a lady can use to 'remove unwanted hair.' I now know that you can zap, fry, rip or cut hair off your face.. wonder why guys only know about shaving with a razor? That is so old school! I can spend hundreds of dollars on a laser gun, which, after continued use, will make the hair never grow back in again. Of course, the skin around the hair will look like the tongue of my old cheerleader oxfords, but it WILL be hairless! Then there is the cream, which dissolves the hair.. and the epidermis.. then the infamous wax strips, where it glues to the hair and you just rip it out. (Wouldn't duct tape work just as well, and for less?) After careful consideration, I made my choice and returned to our humble domicile. "What did you get for that scraggly 'beard'?" Paul asked when I returned. I pulled out a small pack. "A new set of tweezers" I sighed, and smiled out the southern facing window at my neighbor Ralph.. as he pulled his lawn chair up and waved..