Nemo and Big Daddy

Our family consists of 7 – 10 humans a dog and a cat. The cat, Rascal, is the bane of my existence, but our dog is a pretty good ole’ dog. His name is Nemo and he is a yellow lab, about 9 years old, and wouldn’t bite a steak. He is a barker, though, which is nice in our tough neighborhood. But he is also .. what is the phrase I’m looking for? A scared-y cat. He is afraid of thunder, cars backfiring, people yelling, train whistles, helicopters, the wind blowing in the trees… but he does bark at anything that moves! Most of the time, he sleeps inside, because my main concern is – what if something tries to crawl in the window?! I realize that I wouldn’t have to out run IT, whatever IT is, but I WOULD have to out run Paul and the rest of the clan, so if Nemo will bark, I might get a head start! The other night, we were all tucked snuggly in bed and were just drifting off when we heard a noise at the door: Nemo. We had forgot to let Nemo in. Paul stirred a little, and I whispered ‘We need to let Nemo in.” I was using the word ‘we’ in the royal sense, meaning that Paul needed to let Nemo in. He sat up and then said ‘are any of the kids up?’ You see, my beloved husband is very modest, and will not step outside the bedroom without a shirt AND a tee shirt on. I am the only human that sees him otherwise. He thinks it would scar the kids to see us without full attire, and he might be right. Anyhoo, I said ‘No one is up, just slip out and open the door.’ Paul said ‘But Nemo would see me’. I said ‘…So, let me see if I can visualize the scene: Nemo, faithful hound that he is, waiting patiently for the Master to let him in. The door swings open, and there is Big Daddy, shirtless, in front of God and everybody! Nemo turns tail and starts galloping down the road, going ‘YARP, YARP, YARP, YARP..’ off into the distance until he runs into the dog catcher. He then pounds on the side of the truck until they open up, and he throws himself into a cage and assumes the fetal position!’ I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. Paul gave me a withering look and opened the bedroom door.
‘A wife who thinks she is witty is a social liability.’