Noah and the Numchucks

We were watching our granddaughter, Sofya, the other day while her Dad was at work. She is her Daddy’s best friend! She always says ‘My Daddy makes me laugh!’ Who knew that my macho son Noah would melt into a fuzzy puddle as soon as that little Angel came into his life! I remember when Noah was a kid: he channeled Chuck Norris for years, karate-ing anything in sight! When he was about 13, he talked us into buying him a real pair of numchucks with his hard earned savings. He was ecstatic! No human has ever had more joyous anticipation of being beaten and bruised than Noah on the day he received the numchucks! The idea behind using numchucks is to be able to swing them around in a precise manner, carefully choreographed and at a furious pace, which would scare the BLEEP out of anyone who wanted to do you harm! That way you can uphold the true Ninja code of doing no harm unless absolutely necessary while still proving that you are an apex predator! Noah’s confidence was such that on the very first day, he arranged for a demonstration for the family in our front yard. We all got our lawn chairs in a big semi-circle and proceeded to watch the show. Noah began his routine slowly, explaining how the whirling sticks would strike fear into the most dangerous criminal and would be the best deterrent ever! As the weapons spun faster and faster, we broke into spontaneous applause, marveling at such skill in a novice. Noah was in his element, the numchucks a blur in the wind when he misjudged a move and whacked himself Right Square in his manhood! Immediately the show was over, and his siblings started howling with laughter! His Dad looked at what was left of his son, writhing on the ground and said ‘He’s right – that would scare the BLEEP out of me! If he is man enough to knock his own BLEEPS off, ain’t NOBODY gonna’ mess with him!’
When Sofya is older, we will tell her the tale of her funny Daddy and his numchucks.