Silverback

One of my sons is hairy – VERY hairy. We are talking Sasquatch league hair on chest, stomach and back, hair that could be parted and styled, and it started when he was about 12. Now that he is grown, he doesn’t give it a second thought, but when he was younger, he was self conscious about it, and would often try different ways to remove it… much to the delight of his siblings, who would watch and offer advice.. his nickname was Silverback.
We were in the middle of exfoliation one summer afternoon when my oldest son emailed me. (This time we had purchased the industrial size tub of cream remover, and had about an inch of the stuff slathered over the beast’s shoulders. His younger sister was trying to remove the carpet of hair, using a paint stick as kind of a straight razor and leaving clean swathes of hairless pink flesh visible with every flick of her wrists.) I sat the computer to answer the email. It went like this:
ELDEST SON: hey, mom, what are you guys doing?
ME: well, we have Naired-up Silverback and your little sister is troweling the fur off as we speak.
ELDEST: .. And let me guess: you are rubbing his nipples with a leather towel…. I was adopted.
Good times, good times!