.. you can change the oil in your truck as easy as you can a diaper.
.. you have to leave target practice early to make it to choir practice.
.. you think being ‘tied down’ refers to your holster.
.. your idea of a shopping spree is a $50 bill and a ride to Wal-Mart.
.. you have an ashtray in your bathroom.
.. you have art on your wall that says ‘Earnhardt’.
.. your dressiest outfit includes something that laces up.
.. your mama thinks ‘online’ is where you hang the laundry.
.. breakfast is a latte and a Marlboro
.. you get excited when your boyfriend surprises you with scratch tickets instead of flowers.
.. you’d rather go to Home Depot than Macy’s.
.. you have a Black & Decker catalogue on your coffee table. (And some of the pages are marked.)
.. the first thing you asked for when you came out of the Delivery Room was a cigarette.
.. you do your Christmas shopping at the Smoke Shack.
.. you think a balanced diet means the same amount of fries in each hand.
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